The Five Stages of Grief and Sorrow

Good morning to each of you and a huge thank you for continuing to visit my site, even in the absence of new posts. May you have a wonderful day and a fabulous weekend. There were several search terms about sorrow and despair, and I’d like to discuss sorrow, or grief, and the five stages of recovery.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross defined five stages of grief as it applies to death and dying. These stages occur at your own rate, and often show up like a “dance,” with gentle flowing from one stage to the next, back again to the second stage, skipping one or two, then back to one again, etc. Grief is such an individual process that each of you grieves uniquely.

In this discussion about grief and sorrow, I am expanding loss to be anything from a death of a loved one, to the death of a pet, the loss of a job (even if it’s your choice), a move, and loss of a relationship of any sort (even if you left). Anything that leads to the change in the familiar is a loss and needs to be grieved.

Here are the five stages, as defined by Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the denial stage, you cannot see that what is happening is real, and have difficulty grasping the situation. This stage is all about being in shock and not being able to respond much.

In anger, you are mad at the situation, as well as at the person that is/has leaving/left you, even if they died. Many of you may feel guilty for getting angry at a dying person, yet, that is typical to be mad that they are leaving you, that they did not take better care of themselves, etc. In the case of a move or loss of a job, even if you initiated these, anger hits when you mourn the loss of the familiar, and you get angry at yourself for making the change into the unknown.

Bargaining shows up and often is a plea to God, or whatever the power is you defer to that is bigger than yourself. “If only you’ll let Susie live, I will change xyz, I will be good…” The next stage is depression and this is quite normal to enter a state of depression for a period of time in response to your loss. Be aware, however, if it becomes prolonged or if it affects your ability to eat and sleep for long periods of time, or if you become suicidal. In these cases, seek the care of a physician to determine if you are clinically depressed and in need of medication.

The final stage is acceptance, as you realize you cannot change what has occurred. In this stage, you are not saying that you think everything is okay, yet, you accept things are as they are. You finally gain some peace from the situation and are able to move forward with your life.

That’s a summary of the five stages of grief and sorrow, as defined by Kubler-Ross. Tomorrow, I will talk about another philosophy of grief and sorrow that is related to loss.


How to Deal with Sorrow and Grief

Good morning to each of you! It is my wish that you each have a lovely day, filled with peace and joy. The term that was searched for three times is “how to deal with sorrow,” and I added “and grief.” So that is what I am going to speak about today… sorrow and grief.

If you’re in that space of sorrow and grief, I am sorry for your loss, whatever it might be, and I wish you well in your grieving process. The focus of my writing today is on how to get through your sorrow, your grief.

First of all, know that each of you dealing with these difficult emotions does so in your own way. Each of you deals with sorrow and grief the way you saw your parents and other adults deal with them when you were a child.

The messages we are often told as children, and as adults, are don’t feel bad, replace the loss, just give it time, be strong for others, and definitely grieve alone. So, in response to these messages, we hide our grief and sorrow, put on the face that all is okay; we shove it deep within. This does not serve you and, in fact, is damaging to your soul.

You are going to feel badly until you are ready to move on, and it is beneficial to you not to deny these feelings. To replace the loss is to avoid your feelings. Time heals, depending upon what you do with your time. If you sit and wallow in pity, you will not heal, but if you take action to get to a place of peace, the time will assist you.

Know that it is okay to show your feelings about your sorrow and grief, yet that will most likely make others feel uncomfortable. Express it to those people you trust, those who will not berate you for your feelings.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has defined five stages in the death and dying arena: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Know that you will experience these things and that they are perfectly normal. You will go back and forth among them; it is not probable that you will go in a straight order with them. The length of time you spend in each stage is totally unique to you and cannot be compared to another.

I’d like to stress not to compare your grieving process with anyone else’s, as yours is totally yours alone, depending upon what you observed while growing up.

Sorrow and grief can occur after a death of a loved one or a pet, after a move of any sort, after leaving a job, from loss of self-worth, or any time there is a loss. I highly recommend the book The Grief Recovery Handbook: The 20th Edition by John W. James and Russell Friedman.  It contains valuable exercises to do to assist you through your process to heal from sorrow and grief.

Again, my condolences, and I wish you well on your journey through sorrow and grief.


What If You Could Be Free From Emotional Struggle?

Good morning on this day that dawns clear! I wish for you each a day of hope and clarity. So, I repeat the question… what if you could be free from emotional struggle? Free from loss and grief, guilt and anger… depression? What if you could be free from these things?

Would you take action to do so? Ask yourself, why do you stay stuck in your pain? Are you playing the victim, stuck in self-pity?

Celebration of Choices

Celebration of Choices

These are hard and quite direct questions, and I wanted to jog your thought process. The thing is, there are alternatives. You have choices to remain in that suffering space, that emotional struggle, or to go through it to a stronger and happier you.

It is not lightly that I say these things, for I know the price it probably took to get you where you are today, and I know the work it takes to get to a place of hope. And I know these things because I experienced great angst from my own emotional suffering.

Thirteen years ago, I left my verbally-abusive marriage, expecting to start a relationship with a new man. It didn’t work out and I was so devastated, all I could do for several months was drink and cry. I was terrified to be alone and had no clue how to function on my own after a marriage of twenty years. I was in an emotional and psychological meltdown.

Then I got sober and began to develop what has now become my coaching program, Opening the Gates of Your Heart. The road to wholeness after facing 38 years of anger and bitterness against my parents for my upbringing, facing seven years of debilitating grief over my lost marriage and the lost relationship with the new man, and facing the guilt and depression over the things I did and didn’t do in the marriage, was fraught with agony and ecstasy, pain and joy.

Having taken that journey and having come out on the other side a whole and empowered woman of great freedom and peace, I offer to those of you who are caught in your loss, grief, anger, guilt, and depression my unique and individualized coaching program.

What I teach will benefit you for the rest of your life. My approach is nurturing, compassionate, and supportive as I work with you to gain more confidence and self-esteem, more positive belief in yourself and your innate abilities until you can believe in yourself.

If your life is turned upside down because you are in the middle of emotional struggle, there is hope. If you are withdrawing from life in order to protect your raw and damaged heart, you can heal and open the gates of your heart. If you have lost your confidence and are struggling to claim your independence, you can become empowered.

I invite you to learn more about my one-on-one individualized coaching program. You know my style from my blogs, and if you like what I have to say in them, know that you will receive more of that in our sessions. If you are interested in pursuing some assistance with your emotional struggle, take a look at my coaching page under the “Services” tab.

Then call 415-883-8325 to schedule a free 30 minute discovery session. In that call, we will discuss what is troubling you, what your concerns are, and, if I can be of use to you, we will discuss how you can continue to work with me.

Will you take action to begin to resolve your emotional struggle? I hope so because it feels wonderful to have surpassed the struggle and to get to a place of freedom and peace. I want nothing more than to share that with you. Be well, and if what I say resonates with you, move at the speed of instruction.


Grief Timeline and Behaviors – Conclusion

Welcome back for the conclusion of the discussion about grief. My hope for you today is that you find peace in your journey.  Yesterday, I spoke about how grief after loss is normal, that we may go on a roller coaster ride of emotions, that we are not alone – others have gone through the grieving process also, and they are available to help us through ours.

And that is a key point right there. Grief recovery is a process. It occurs in stages or waves, and if we can stay present for those changed emotions, we can recover more quickly.

Let’s look at our emotional landscape… when we experience grief, we may be breathless, unable to catch our breath due to the shock and disbelief. We will likely be angry and either target it at someone/something specific, or generally be angry at the world, at God. We may feel guilty, worthless, and depressed, alternated with calm and peace. This is quite normal.

Our release of emotions may include weeping, wailing, sobbing, and we may isolate ourselves. In our physical landscape, we may be experiencing lethargy, physical numbness, aches and pains. Our sleeping and eating patterns may change; we may feel general malaise and fatigue.

All of these things are normal, and we can take the best care of ourselves that we can throughout our changing emotional and physical status.

We may find ourselves getting to a point where we enjoy a portion(s) of our lives and this does not deny our loss and grief. I think the important thing to realize is that we get through grief more quickly if we feel our feelings, if we allow them to surface and be acknowledged. Then, if we get stuck, we can do things to get unstuck. What can we do to get unstuck, you may ask?

First, we can reach out. Reach out to friends, family, to spiritual leaders, to clergy, to teachers, medical community, our personal social circle. Second, we can risk examining our stuck behaviors. This takes courage and we can acknowledge that courage. We can talk to those who are not stuck.

Third, we can make this a year of “yes,” giving ourselves permission to move forward and act. We can take one step, one baby step, and we can live life fully, to the best of our ability. Fourth, we can move, exercise. This produces endorphins, the feel-good chemical in our brain. And fifth, we can write a letter to the person or thing with which we grieve, talking through any unfinished business.

In fact, writing, and especially printing with the non-dominat hand, will bring out emotions more quickly and we can pass through them as we write about them. Throughout the process, we find our purpose and we eventually gain peace with our grief. We find our purpose, and we find acceptance.

What are you grieving about? What do you discover about your feelings, your beliefs, when you write about your grief? How does it feel when you reach acceptance? Have you reached it yet? Leave a comment and let us know how you are coping with your grief.




Grief Timeline and Behaviors – Part 1

Good morning to you each. I hope your day has dawned with the promise of peace. Today, I picked the topic of grief and want to look at the process involved in grief recovery – how long it takes and what we might be dealing with throughout the process.

My information here is based on personal experience with seven years of a debilitating grief from which I recovered, as well as the book, The Grief Recovery Handbook, the 20th edition, by John W. James and Russell Friedman. Some of what I say about the stages of grief are based on Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ teachings about the 5 stages of death and dying.

Perhaps the first thing about the grief process is to know that grief is normal after loss of any sort… death of a loved one or pet, divorce or loss of a relationship, loss of a job, or a move from one place to another. The other thing to know is we are not alone. Others have also felt loss and gone through grieving.

But what do we do when we feel this acute emotional pain, this loss? We take baby steps, and we allow ourselves to feel the pain in waves, or however it presents itself to us. If we cannot deal with the pain all the time, that is normal, and need to divert ourselves, distract ourselves, that is normal. I don’t recommend using substances to numb ourselves as a healthy distraction, however.

We honor our process, the steps we make. Our feelings may go back and forth between denial, anger, bargaining, and depression until we finally reach acceptance. This is totally individual and while one person goes through these in order and not too lengthy a time in each, another may go back and forth hundreds of times and take months or years to go through.

It’s important to remember we are each unique, that the relationship we had with what we have lost is unique and, thus, our responses will all be unique. People will say well-meaning things to us which are not useful and even hurtful, like “Get over it,” or, “You didn’t need her anyway. You’ll find someone else better.”

These things are said out of ignorance of knowing what to say to someone who has suffered a loss. Try to have tolerance of these things that are said and not take them to heart. Know that we as a society have not learned how to deal with loss and so, are uncomfortable with it.

I want to continue this tomorrow but I will leave you with this thought: Alternating between a roller coaster ride and calm are quite normal and if we can see our pattern and the things that trigger us to go on the ride, plummeting, than we can predict it and not go under when it hits.

Tomorrow, I will address feelings specific to the grieving process, and ways to move through them. Please come back for the conclusion when I write about how to cope with grief and its behaviors.


Getting Through Grief After a Divorce – Conclusion

Hello, again. We are talking about getting through our grief after we have left a marriage or were left. Either way, there is loss and grief.

Perhaps the most useful tool I can recommend is to write about your thoughts and feelings with your non-dominant hand. I recommend you print, rather than write script. Printing is easier. I did this, printed with my left hand, and all sorts of deep emotions surfaced that I was then able to look at and process. I began to get through my grief more quickly and identified some feelings I didn’t even know I had.

There are stages to grief that are defined in the literature. For example, Elisabeth Kublar-Ross believes there are five stages that we go through. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. We go from one to the other, not necessarily in order, and we may stay for a brief time in one, or a long period of time. We often jump back and forth from one to the other until we finally reach acceptance and gain some peace.

It is all individual and we cannot compare our grieving process to anyone else’s, nor should we allow others to compare us to someone, or a “norm.” There is no norm. There is only what is in our own heart. I believe it helps to understand these stages, as we are then prepared for what we might experience and we can put words to our feelings.

Another train of thought is suggested in the book The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Edition, by John W. James and Russell Friedman. They do not believe in stages, and state grief is a totally individual experience and cannot be placed into any stage or box. I highly recommend getting and reading this book, and doing the writing exercises.

These exercises are designed to get us to understand how we deal with grief, as the first step. Generally, we mirror what we saw when we were growing up. Often, that was the belief that we need to get over it, grieve alone, be strong… These beliefs are detrimental to our grief recovery. Instead, we can adopt the beliefs and attitudes that having feelings of sorrow, anger, and even guilt are natural occurrences when we experience a divorce.

To get through these, John and Russell walk the reader of their book through a process that identifies all the losses in one’s life, written on a timeline. Then, they have us look at all our important relationships in which there is unfinished business, also on a timeline. The loss of a divorce will most likely coincide with feelings about the person from whom we are divorced. Again, I urge you to get the book and do the program that is outlined.

After a divorce, there is often bitterness and anger. We can help to get through these by first recognizing what is underneath it. Perhaps there is hurt, fear we are not good enough, fear that there is something wrong with us. We may feel anger for abuse we received. We may feel guilty for things we said or did.

To deal with the anger, I found doing a self-appraisal to identify the things I did to bring the marriage to a bad place was of paramount importance. I discovered, for example, several things I did and said that brought the marriage to its demise. I also did not speak up for myself, so invited verbal abuse agaiin and again. Then, I played the victim, a role I played so others would feel sorry for me. I did this all unconsciously, of course, but I discovered it when I did an appraisal.

How about you? When you take a look at yourself and stop blaming the other person, what do you see? We all will find something or other that we did or did not do, that we are not proud of, that was detrimental to the marriage. We need to own those things, recognize we did the best we could at the time, and forgive ourselves. Then, we can find compassion for the other person and forgive them as well.

This does not happen overnight; it is a process that takes time and focus, a continual returning to exploration. Over time, though, we will find we have gotten through our grief, mainly because we allowed ourselves to feel our sorrow, and from that, the process of healing occurred.

I wish you well in your recovery from a divorce and hope that you gain peace from the experience. Take what was learned to the next relationship, which will be more whole and complete than the last, simply because you allowed yourself to heal and to gain insight of your behaviors from the past marriage. I wish you well.




Getting Through Grief After a Divorce – Part I

Good morning! The day dawns clear and bright, and like all days, brings the promise of peace and joy to my world. I hope this is so for your world as well. Someone was looking for inspirational sayings for after a divorce, and I can offer ways to get through your grief. You be the judge of whether or not what I say is inspirational. : )

Grief occurs with any loss we experience. In other words, grief does not only occur after the death of a loved one. Loss includes divorce, loss of a pet, loss of a job, even a move to a different location. If we recognize that we have experienced a loss, that makes going through the grief process that much easier because we are not resisting it or being blind to our grief.

Grieving is difficult, I will admit, yet, to return to whole and to get to peace-of-mind again, we need to allow ourselves to feel our grief. We need to allow ourselves to go through the process of recovery and repair of our heart. Today, let’s talk aboout the grief process after a divorce.

People are uncomfortable with another’s expressions of grief and say some pretty useless and even damaging things. Examples include: “Get over it,” “S/he was no good for you anyway,” “You will meet someone else and forget about him/her.” There are more, and these are most commonly said to us when we have gone through a divorce and are struggling with our grief. So, what can we do?

First of all, it is a grave disservice to tell someone who is grieving to “get over it!” This totally negates where someone is in the process of grieving. Obviously, they can’t, or they would! There is something stopping them from moving on. Often, that is unfinished business, anger, or guilt.

For me, after I left my marriage in 2001, I grieved the loss of my familiar routine the most. It took several months before I actually missed my ex-husband. Then I moved into the guilt phase, as I realized the ways in which I had led the marriage to demise. Occasionally, I still get twangs of grief over things I did, and I say soothing things to myself, like: “If you had known better, you would have done better, Jones.” “You did the best you could with the tools you had at the time, lacking though they were, it was the best you knew how to do.”

Sit with that self-talk for the day, and I will return tomorrow to give more information about how to get through grief. I am splitting it up, because I have a fair amount more to say and the post is getting long. Also, for the day, try to ignore what people tell you that is not useful, realizing that the person saying those things is uncomfortable. Feel compassion for their uncomfortableness and continue with your soothing self-talk. I’ll be back tomorrow morning…


How to Open Your Heart More

“How to open your heart more” was searched for 4 times yesterday morning, so I thought I’d address that. I apologize for no post yesterday… I started this and the day got away from me before I could develop the blog. So, here we are today, in this moment, and let me write about how to open your heart.

The first thing needed to open your heart is willingness to do so, willingness to go there. Once you are willing, the whole world opens up, and you are able to see the things around you that you couldn’t see before. You see your physical world more intently; you see others with eyes and heart of gentleness and kindness.

Once you are willing to open your heart, the next stage involves identifying the wounds you have endured during your lifetime, and the feelings that accompany these wounds. Look closely at your fear and how it holds you back in life. Look closely at grief you may be experiencing, a feeling associated with loss of any type.  Allow yourself the time to look at these feelings and try to be straight while you do so. Try to just “be” with them, without numbing them out with substances or activity.

Now, feel compassion for yourself for the wounds you have received and endured. See yourself with gentleness, kindness. Do not slide into self-pity… this is not a pity party I am suggesting. More, it is an objective assessment and acknowledgment of the damage you have received. Now it’s time to start seeing the world around you with gratitude. Be grateful for the simplest things and soon that gratitude will expend to larger things in your life.

Now you are equipped to begin a self-appraisal, looking first at your positive traits, behaviors, and actions. Really praise yourself for these things. Then, look at your negative behavior, the things you do for which you are mad at others for doing, when you do the very same things yourself. For your bad behavior that was hurtful to others, take ownership of that behavior. Be responsible and accountable for it by letting go of any resentments, and apologizing, if indicated.

This tool is invaluable as one to use on an on-going basis, throughout each day. It becomes second-nature to see yourself honestly, objectively. Rather than allowing this appraisal to be a jumping-off place from which to beat yourself up, use it instead as a method of keeping yourself right-sized… not bragging or boastful, nor insecure and self-reproachful. Use a self-appraisal to locate where you are in your world, both outer and inner.

Once you learn to follow this process, you will have opened your heart so very much. There is one more tool to use to get to deep peace and freedom, and that is forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you, without condoning what was done, to put to rest your heart-burning resentment, the thing that keeps you simmering with anger just below the surface. Once you come to forgiveness, you will begin to be really free, able to open your heart even wider.

So, this is the process to go through to open your heart. How does it work for you? Do you have a different method? What works for you? Leave a comment and let us know.


Creating Peace-of-Mind – Walking Through Grief

Yesterday, the search terms that jumped out at me were how to try to forgive, and inspiration when self-esteem is low. To speak to these two issues… We are working though a process that will improve your self-esteem, so join in and follow along this blog for the next several days. One of the things we are working toward is forgiveness, both of others and ourselves. The point is, I can address both of these issues…

So far, I have spoken about identifying wounds that form your feelings, and the fear associated with your behavior that keeps you stuck. Today, we will move through the feeling of grief.

Grief is defined by John W. James and Russell Friedman in The Grief Recovery Handbook: 20th Anniversary Edition as the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. So, grief can occur from the death of a loved one, as well as loss of a job, divorce, or a move to a new location.

They believe there are no stages that one goes through in grief, and that each person’s grieving process is totally unique to them. It is dependent on the ways they saw grief handled when they were growing up.

The messages we were told when growing up were: don’t feel bad, replace what was lost, grieve alone, just give it time, and be strong for others. These messages lead us to isolate and to hold in our pain when we grieve, neither of which serves to move us through the process to wholeness.

John and Russell advocate reading their book and doing the exercises with another person who is going through the grieving process, so each can be a support and a sounding board for the other.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross defined five stages to the grieving process which can occur in any order, but generally follow the path of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These she defines in relation to the death and dying process. They occur as a “dance,” with an intermingling of the stages, completion of one or two, then return to the first, then move to the third, and so forth.

Depression when you experience a loss is normal. To not be depressed is unusual. After all, what you are coping with is depressing. It is not clinical depression, however, if you have underlying depression to begin with, you may wish to consult a professional to see if anti-depressants are warranted for you.

There is no fast and easy way through grief. It takes time and the recognition of our feelings. Furthermore, it involves the expression of those feelings to someone, be it a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or someone else who is grieving. Since we learned at a young age that no one wanted to hear about our grief, this is especially difficult for most people, yet, it is necessary for the process to flow forward.

One way to also let your feelings be heard is to journal. I suggest writing with your “other” hand, the one you don’t typically write with, your non-dominant hand. By doing this, you exercise the other side of your brain and all sorts of deep feelings well up. This is an especially safe way to express yourself, but it is still crucial that you express your feelings to another being.

In the end, acceptance is what is gained. To quote Kubler-Ross about acceptance, “Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being ‘all right’ or ‘okay’ with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel okay or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality.”

It is possible to get past and through your grief, as long as you can identify and speak about your feelings. They are not wrong or stupid to have, and you are not bothering another to talk about them.

Today, look at all the losses you have suffered in your lifetime. Draw a timeline of your losses, beginning with the first recollection you have in life. Your loss may involve the grief from the lack of a normal childhood, or it may involve the loss of a pet, a divorce. Whatever the reason, it is important to bring those feelings to the forefront to examine and feel, and then to share them with another. I wish you well in your journey.

New layer…

How to Deal with Grief – Part 2

Good morning. We are again furthering our knowledge about grief and how to handle it. I am referring in this blog to the book I read called The Grief Recovery Handbook, by John W. James and Russell Friedman. One of the points they make early on is that we an not experienced in dealing with the feelings that come up when we are faced with a loss.

We fall back on the messages we learned when growing up, taught to us by folks who were themselves very uncomfortable with the unfamiliar feelings. The messages we were taught were: don’t feel bad, replace the loss, grieve alone, just give it time, and be strong for someone else. These are myths and don’t work in grief recovery. 

They encourage us to grieve in isolation, which is not effective in grief recovery, according to John and Russell. Instead, they believe we need to get acknowledgment of our feelings. They also believe that being told those messages leads us to a loss of trust in the person(s) saying them. Because loss of trust is painful, we learn the message to not trust others and this further isolates us. 

Nonetheless, we seek solace from others and we quickly learn they are ill-equipped to help us. Although well-meaning, they say things that are not helpful and sometimes detrimental, such as I know how you feel. No one knows how you feel because you had a unique relationship to the person or event of which you grieve, and, therefore, your grief is unique to you.

“Keep a stiff upper lip,” “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps,”  “give it  time and it will heal,” and even “get on with your life,” are all things we have undoubtedly heard which are not useful things for us. The clear message is that it’s not okay to have our feelings and certainly not to show them.

So what’s the answer? John and Russell believe we need to grieve in partnership with someone else who is grieving. They suggest going through their book and working the exercises that are clearly spelled out. Then, they advocate sharing what you found during each exercise with your partner, who does nothing but listen. The listener must not interrupt nor touch you if you become upset, as that interrupts the process of grief recovery.

One misunderstood emotion is depression. Depression after a loss is to be expected, as what just happened is a depressing thing. It differs from clinical depression, however.  A grieving person is entitled to a loss of energy after a loss, and this is not the same as clinical depression.

Basically, the healing comes about through our ability to be heard and acknowledged. Unfortunately, we learn quickly that it is not okay to voice our feelings, and we find ourselves acting recovered in order to be accepted, when, in fact, we are dying inside. This is something to be wary of and we can seek out the solace of a grief recovery partner.

In order to recover, we must look at all aspects of a relationship, both the positive and the negative. Without doing that, it is almost impossible to heal from the grief. It is important to remember that ALL relationships and events have both positive and negative aspects. Through the completion of what John and Russell call a Relationship Graph, we can get a clearer picture of what we experienced with a person or event. This helps us through the grief process by directing us to look at how our relationships interfaced with our losses. It keeps us from putting the person or event on a pedestal or continually criticizing them.

They also advocate/suggest that we do a Loss Graph, which outlines the major losses in our life. This will allow the feelings associated with our losses to surface so we can feel them, and then, heal. The whole system works well if we pair up with a grief partner and follow the exercises in the book. More information is available at John and Russell’s website at

I hope this information is helpful to you as you journey through the grief process.