What Are Resentments & How To Get Past Them

Good morning, all! I am having a slow morning getting started, as I am unwinding from a wonderful event I went to yesterday for aspiring speakers. I am slowly getting to my daily tasks, including this blog. : )

The search term I have chosen is “what are resentments,” and I have added “how to get past them.” Resentments are anger we hold against another about which we go over and over and over again in our mind. We stew about our resentments, turning them around and around. They keep us awake at night, as we seethe, and burn and churn inwardly. Often, we plot a revenge for the wrong done to us.

Resentments are deadly, especially to an alcoholic or addict like myself, as that is what we often used and abused about. They cause our health to suffer through raised blood pressure, heart disease, and increased incidences of cancer. They are bad news for us and rob us of any type of inner peace we seek.

So how do we get past resentments? We start by doing a self-appraisal. In that appraisal, we are looking over our actions and behaviors with the person we resent to see if we actually started the ball rolling on what has turned into a resentment for us. When we look at ourselves, we are honest, and we look for behavior to which the other person reacted in a normal, human way. i.e., we consider if we, ourselves, started the whole thing.

If we did, we need to own our behavior, admit our wrong-doing, and let go of the resentment. An apology may even be in order. We approach the other person humbly, without shame or groveling, nor defensive and abusive. We just simply state what we did, accepting the fact that we were acting in a human fashion.

If we were not responsible for setting the stage for our resentments, then we begin to look at the other person as being sick emotionally and spiritually, which they most likely are. We show compassion, just like we would for any sick person. We also try to understand what their experience(s) was that led them to act in the manner in which they did. Again, we can then see them with compassion.

With compassion comes forgiveness, and we offer them that forgiveness. This frees our heart and mind of our resentments.  We offer forgiveness, not to condone what was done to us, rather, to free ourselves emotionally.

What are the resentments you are currently experiencing? What steps have you taken to resolve them? Leave a comment and let us know.

And, if you are interested in dealing with your resentments, I invite you to attend my up-coming support group, Transform Into Forgiveness. This group will meet the 2nd and 4th Monday from 10 am to 11 am, starting February 11th, or the 2nd and 4th Thursday from 1:30 pm to 2:30 pm, starting Feb 14th. Both groups will meet at the Wells Fargo Bank in San Rafael, CA. 1203 4th Street, 2nd floor. 94901.

There is parking in the rear of the building, and a double door to go through, where you will find an elevator. Take it directly to the second floor. For more details and to register, please contact me at 415-883-8325 or email me at carolyncjjones@yahoo.com. Get past your resentments and experience inner peace like you have never experienced it.


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